Story: The cockroach theory for self development

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on
a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic stricken
face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands
desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got
panicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed
on another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the
drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.
In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of
the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and
threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind
picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach
responsible for their histrionic behavior?
If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?
He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle
the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or
my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the
disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my
inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that
disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates
chaos in my life.

Lessons learnt from the story:

Anger ( To welcome my new friend Mini)

There was a boy who was always losing his temper. His father gave him a bag full of nails and said to him, “My son, I want you to hammer a nail into our garden fence every time you need to direct your anger against something and you lose your temper.”
So the son started to follow his father’s advice. On the first day he hammered in 37 nails, but getting the nails into the fence was not easy, so he started trying to
control himself when he got angry. As the days went by, he was hammering in less nails, and within weeks he was able to control himself and was able to refrain from getting angry and from hammering nails. He came to his father and told him what he had achieved. His father was happy with his efforts and said to him: “But now, my son, you have to take out a nail for every day that you do not get angry.”
The son started to take out the nails for each day that he did not get angry, until
there were no nails left in the fence. He came to his father and told him what he
had achieved. His father took him to the fence and said, “My son, you have done
well, but look at these holes in the fence.
This fence will never be the same again.” Then he added: “When you say things in a state of anger, they leave marks like these holes on the hearts of others. You can stab a person and withdraw the knife but it doesn’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry,’ because the wound will remainforever.